I had the perfect storm going. I queried an agent with whom I had a remote connection. At the writer's conference we were told figuring out some kind of connection with an agent is vital if you want them to read past your first paragraph. She had sold a book in which I was a character. That got my foot in the door. Another person in the agency asked for the proposal by email. Door is staying open. A third person in the agency tells me he was given the proposal; that his mother has five cats, and he wants to see a sample. Door still open, even though I can tell I've been bounced down to the junior agent, but I heard at the conference that they're the ones who'll try the hardest.
I never know what to send. It's not like one chapter is stronger than another. It's all one big story. A few parts can stand alone, and I usually send them, but it's hard to get a grasp of the book's scope when you read about one cat, when the book is really about a long chain of cat encounters that somehow make the bridge of my life's journey.
Usually I send Neelix's chapters, but this time I went with Arbee. Two days later, I got the not-for-us email. And you know, I've been disappointed so much in life, it's pretty much what I expect (time to get another cat?!), but this time I cannot give up. This is all I have now. This is the last rescue attempt I can launch, so I have to keep trying. I just don't know where I'm going to find this miraculous agent that I miraculously connect with and who embraces the book.
My online buddy says I should self-publish, but it's not about getting published so much as making a small, temporary windfall that will put us back on a level playing field and give me an identity for my last years since I failed to get a career going early enough in my life to benefit from one. I can be the Crazy Cat Lady. I still have time to do that. I have to believe all these kitties were sent to save me, which would be ironic since I thought I was saving them.
Postscript: After I wrote this and went home, I found another rejection in my mail. Wow, bad day.
